It’s currently 10 PM on a Sunday, and I am, of course, working. It used to be that I worked one job like I had 2-3 jobs, but now I divide my time between working 8-5 ish, family time, writing, speaking the radio show, building a social media brand, playing with puppies, spending time reading my Bible, reading 220 books in 2020, working out and trying to keep up with my house. That’s exhausting just to say!
Here’s the truth, work gives me purpose. My son has graduated high school and is working his way through EMT school. While he does appreciate a good home-cooked meal, he doesn’t actually need me for his day to day life. I’m not married. I am not ultra-involved in a church, although I have found one that I am plugging into. I love my six month old, sixty pound puppy horse, but after we play for about thirty minutes and go for a walk, he’s pretty much done with me and I don’t feel at all like I changed the world.
I used to feel incomplete without success at work, but now it’s the opposite. I have this pull towards a ministry that I know that God is calling me to. I am doing the ground work now to build the foundation that will sustain whatever he has called me to do. This time around, I am not defined by what I do. It’s different, because I have learned one important lesson.
I am not defined by what I do… what I do is defined by who I am.
I know that sounds simple, but for a girl who has always believed that her value and self worth were synonymous with what she could do for people, that is a huge paradigm shift. I am not defined by what I do, what I do is defined by who I am. I am not the person I am today because of the work that I do, in fact the opposite is true. I can do the work I do, because of the person I am. That shift in thinking enabled me to set boundaries, balance work load, and compartmentalize my time so that I could have both work and ministry and live a more balanced life.